How to speak when no one is listening (and you don't know what you want to say)

Don't confuse brain fog with emptiness. It's a head stuffed to the brim with things you have nowhere to put. We're not short on ideas — we've got a surplus. And when you add to that the feeling that you're not competent to speak—because you're poor, because you don't have a degree, because you do work that doesn't pay the bills—you start to shut yourself up.

Translated from CZ. CZECH VERSION HERE

Here are a few notes that became text.
You might even see a little bit of yourself in them.

I want to create texts that preserve emotions. It's a unique emotional experience that's hard to put into words. I want to talk about emotions that are hard to describe, that a person only experiences once in a lifetime and feels are really special. Maybe then I'd show how ordinary emotions really are, since everyone experiences them. They evoke different memories and nostalgia for everyone.

My notes on the text often become the text itself. And not always stupid ones.

I enjoy... I'm not really sure what topics to focus on. I'm good at writing automatic texts, random notes about life, whatever pops into my head. I've got a bunch of stories swirling around in my head, but I can't seem to put them down on paper because my writing style is more reactive. I write about what I'm reacting to and what's going on in my head. And, sadly, those texts are always the best.

Right now, feminist issues are what's got me thinking the most, but I'm not interested in writing manifestos. I want to talk about the real problems people are dealing with, no matter what's causing them, whether it's patriarchy or solar flares. Life's not just about not being able to get vegan food at the village train station or join the army. Life's also about the little things, like a fallen branch or a cloudburst.

I'm frustrated with the system I live in because I feel like it doesn't work, but I don't really know what to say about it except that it frustrates me and I don't like it. I'm not sure what to do about it or how to change it. But I don't think the system should change just because of me.

Take German bike paths, waste sorting, and taxation, income and expenses, for example. Why do they have such high salaries, while in the Czech Republic we only have high rents? And most importantly, what can we do about it? How can we say this without being called whiners? And on top of that, what can I say about it when I do unskilled work for unskilled money, part-time, because I can't do more, and I'm paying off debts I incurred when I was in a worse situation?

How can I criticize the system if I'm a welfare recipient?

Maybe that's why I have the right to speak.

That might be why I feel the need to speak up.

When I say "success," I'm talking about getting the general public to accept you. When there's a constant back-and-forth between your work and how the audience reacts, it doesn't have to be positive feedback. I'm not naive enough to think that success means everyone loves me. I'm not sure if I'm reaching my full potential because I'm not getting the recognition I deserve.

But for me, real success is about reaching more people and having more influence because the more people you reach, the more people pay attention to you. When you're aiming for the right goals and you're clear on what you're trying to achieve in your work, and you're putting in the effort to reach those goals, you're on the right track.

I need to find a success that brings in money. I'm willing to lower my requirement to be a box office hit because many of the things I do and say are controversial. And controversy doesn't usually lead to big box office success.

If I only cared about how much money I make and how many Oscars I get, I wouldn't care about the meaning of my work.

But for me, that's what success is all about.

That's why I'm aiming for success that strikes the best balance between impact and earnings.

It's like the highest point on the curve, where these things go well together.

I'm eager to get there.

I'm just not exactly sure how yet...

If this resonated with you, write me a note, share it, or just give it a thumbs up.

And if you've ever thought that you don't have the right to speak because you're not good enough, you're in good company. But keep talking.